February is an interesting time of the year. It’s the first month of the year where you actually feel like you’re in the current year, since it seems we spend most of January simply reminding ourselves that we’re in a ‘new year’. It’s the first month we fall back into the normal rhythm of our lives…work, gym, eat, sleep; rinse and repeat. We begin to forget about our New Year’s Resolutions (statistics say that only 49% of American’s make resolutions, 24% of this group NEVER will accomplish their goal while only 8% will find some form of success) and begin to move on with our year. However, for some of us, February can be a bit of a speed bump.
The month of February is traditionally one of aspiration and excitement, beginning with The Super Bowl; and ending with everyone’s favorite day – my birthday (it’s the 28th for all those well-wishers out there!). Yet this great month of February comes with a catch, and this one is often a sore spot for everyone who is single…the dreaded Valentine’s Day.
It’s a fairly simple holiday – if you want to call it a holiday – yet I’ve never had a day off from work for it that I can remember. This is a different holiday, one that asks (requires) people to shower (buy) one another ceremonial red colored gifts (or else) including (sometimes in combinations) candy, stuffed bears, flowers and fancy dinners (which, on this day, requires reservations). Hats off to Hallmark, you’ve created quite a racket.
Well, as circumstances would have it, I’m single this Valentines Day. It’s the first time in almost seven years and to be honest, it feels a little strange. Watching as Valentine’s Day approached on the calendar has made me a little apprehensive, but admittedly it’s nothing more than V-Day hype. Like many days that cause us stress or confusion, they typically come in the same way they end, with a whimper.
My first draft of this post was to compile a list of songs about the feelings that ‘singles on Valentine’s Day’ can sometimes feel. Some are sad, lonely or bitter, while others are fiercely independent and positive. However, the latter was not initially the focus. Yeah, I was listening to some angry stuff (go Kelly Clarkson and Avril Lavigne!). Too often we release the reigns of our own lives and allow ourselves to be lead instead of being the leader. Make this year different. Make this year something special, even if it’s spent alone. Do not dwell in what you do not have, only look forward to the promise of the future. Most will say that “love happens when you least expect it”, or even “love will happen when you’re not looking for it”; both of these are quite true.
Originally, I listed songs and lyrics that began as angry and pessimistic; perfect therapy for anyone who is still dealing with the bitter portions of a breakup. However, after heavy discussion and a change of heart, I’ve decided to that it’s not my place to influence your feeling on this “day of love”. Would it make some of us feel better to let out some musical frustration? Perhaps. But would it REALLY make the day flow more smoothly, or keep you from screaming at the top of your lungs? Perhaps not.
Take a few minutes and make a new play list. Pick songs that put a smile on your face. Pick a few that make you want to dance. Even pick a few that remind you of a past love; it’s okay to revisit the feeling of loss and heartbreak, without it you won’t be able to appreciate your next encounter of the heart. Remember, you just haven’t met them yet (thanks Michael Buble’ for your infectious brand of pop-big band love songs!).
NOTE: Anyone looking for the perfect post-relationship album; look no further than Maroon 5’s freshman disc “Songs About Jane”. It spans every aspect of love, from courtship to the eventual breakup, through love and hate. This album has helped me on more than one occasion.
As I was producing my own play list I began to notice a pattern. Although I went through 12,000 songs to find my “ideal” tracks, I ended up sticking with my usual artists (JT, Jason Mraz, Coldplay). In the end, however, I discovered you could replace the entire list with selections from both of Justin’s albums (Justified & FutureSex/LoveSounds) and create a single list that covers every aspect of a relationship…from breakup, recovery, new possibilities, all the way to marriage.
Track 1- Nothin’ Else (Justified)…after a chance meeting, have a relationship, then she suddenly has doubts
Track 2- Last Night (Justified)…the day after she decides she wants out
Track 3- Another Song (All Over Again) (FutureSex/LoveSounds)…feeling regret over the loss of your love, wanting/begging to reconcile and start again
Track 4- Still On My Brain (Justified)…reminders are everywhere, the difficulties of letting go
Track 5- Cry Me A River (Justified)…she wants to contact you and be “friends again”, you think not!
Track 6- What Goes Around…(FS/LS)…she experiences the same thing that she did to you and you don’t care!!
Track 7- Never Again (Justified)…you have moved on and resolve to never allow her to hurt you again
Track 8- Let Me Talk To Her/My Love (FS/LS)…you meet someone new and try to get something started
Track 9- Rock Your Body (Justified)…you’re out one night and attempt to impress on the dance floor
Track 10- Love Stoned/I Think She Knows (FS/LS)…feeling the vibes of new love
Track 11- Like I Love You (Justified)…you’re amazed by the feeling of new love and will do anything to make it work
Track 12- Until the End of Time (FS/LS)…this love has grown into something more and you’re ready for the next step
Track 13- This I Promise You (*NSYNC, No Strings Attached)…ready for the big plunge and settle down for good
So listen and let it flow. Cry, laugh, scream and feel a little better. Grab your friends and head to your favorite spot. If you believe that life is just a collection of tiny moments, than these will become nothing more than musical footnotes in the novel that is your life.
But footnotes are essential to writing a great novel…
I’m on the way to a full recovery of the heart…I hope this helps you feel the same…
Happy Valentine’s Day…
To learn more about Brian go to – DJ Brian: Full Circle